The birth of your child is exciting for your family and friends, I understand. And, those same people will be your support as you venture through the first stages of motherhood and your baby’s infancy so it’s in your best interest to maintain a good relationship with them. However…..remember this: You literally just birthed a human being. Just soak that concept in for a minute. That’s a big deal momma! Talk about an exhausting and emotional experience mixed with dramatic hormonal changes, regular check-ins with the hospital staff, breastfeeding and bonding with your baby, sapped energy levels and …ugh, that’s exhausting just reading it!
For some moms, it can be really stressful to constantly have visitors, phone calls and text messages to tend to. Others love the company. Just know that it’s ok to be either of those moms.
Check out these other thoughts on the subject and just remember – if you need to put up the No Visitor sign, it’s OK mama!
Why did I put the “no visitors” vibe up? Here’s why:
1. You’ll Never Get Those Moments Back Again
It was our first and only child. For those of you with more than one child, consider how differently your post-labor or C-section life was with baby number one… and then baby number two. With your first child — and for some of us our only — you’ll never get those quiet moments of just mom, dad, and baby again.
Even if you have a million kids, don’t you want to cherish those first few hours with just your immediate family? The first nursing or feeding. The first time you hold your baby. Do you really need a ton of fanfare, or is it just nice to have some private intimacy when you’ve brought another being into the world?
I wanted the privacy and time to simply drink in what had just happened: I became a mom. He became a dad. Give us a few hours to cherish these moments before all the noise and craziness of people, opinions, and presents come to shower in on our little world.
Sssh. Let it be quiet. For just a bit.
I didn’t want anyone to make me anxious or uncomfortable while I was trying to nurse for the first time. Plus, even after the grandparents came, we still kept it quiet with visitors until I could get into a better rhythm — or, in other words, could get my daughter to latch well instead of continuing to latch shallowly so my nipples bled.
With fewer people to fawn, fuss, and add their two cents, nursing got off to a good start for me. Yes, we had latch issues, but because I kept the visitors list short, we could work on this with a lactation consultant and my husband could focus on supporting me.
I can’t tell you how glad I am that we did this. Never once do I think, “Gee, I wish we had more visitors that first week of our child’s life!”
3. Hormones (and Food)
Hello, hormones! Nope, they don’t stop. At least not for a while postpartum. The crying and emotional moments? Yeah, I preferred to let those happen in front of people I was close to, namely my husband.
I wanted to eat and start to feel better while dealing with the crying and mood swings among “my peeps” and not the adoring audience for my daughter.
Plus, who feels super awesome when they’re wearing a maxi pad the size of a car, trying to poop, and dealing with bloody nipples and potentially ginormous and super engorged breasts while trying to change a diaper for the first time and waddle around post-C-section or birth? Nobody! It’s nice to feel a little crappy and achy and emotional without the whole peanut gallery around.
It was great to get into a little routine during the time my husband was off from work for the first two weeks of my daughter’s life. Scheduling visitors properly helped any disruptions in our new parent routine. It made our lives go more smoothly when he went back to work and I was home by myself as a new stay-at-home mother.
Plus, by that time, I was dying for visitors and ready. Do you remember, mommies, what it felt like the first time you took your baby out in the world all by yourself? I do. It felt like a victory just lifting the car seat alone!
No matter what you decide, consider who you want to visit you and when before the baby is here so you have an idea of the amount of chaos you want to invite into your home and hospital — or not.
And don’t feel bad if you need to say, “Hey, best friend. I am bleeding like a stuck pig and am having a tough time with nursing. Can you see me in another few days?” You don’t owe anyone an apology for holding off on visiting. All you need to focus on is your new family member or members!