She is weighing her options. You also have a choice to make. What are your responsibilities? How should you help? You have a lot to think about. We encourage you to come for the appointment.
Maybe you don’t plan on staying in a relationship with the mother. Maybe you didn’t have a great relationship with your own dad, and you have some real concerns about becoming one. Or you might be in the middle of school or work and just don’t know what to do. At Birthline we have male mentors along with female mentors to discuss with you the options that are available and some of the decisions you will need to make about the role you will have in the pregnancy.
What to Do:
- Listen to Her. Keep the lines of communication open between the two of you at all times. DO NOT close yourself off emotionally because the situation involves more than you.
- Talk About it. In addition to keeping the lines of communication open between the two of you, it’s important to discuss the situation with parents and others who’ll be directly affected. Keeping this a secret from those who genuinely care will only add to the stress – yours and hers.
- Be There for Her. She needs you now more than ever before.
- Educate Yourself. Collect information and seek advice from people you trust.
- Express Yourself Honestly. Own and share at all times how you feel. You’ll be surprised at how much it will help her to know that you share the same concerns. You’ll be surprised at what you learn about yourself, and you’ll be proud that you’re standing tall together.
What Not to Do:
- Don’t Run From your Responsibilities. The more you try to avoid the situation, the harder things will get for the three of you. Now and in the future.
- Don’t Pressure Her to do What you Want. You both need to work together at all times. You’re a team.
- Don’t Stop Communicating with Her. Express your feelings and add your input whenever its needed.